On ice

Oh lookit the iceberg!

It’s April in NL and iceberg season has started early! That’s Spillar’s Cove, right where Bonavista and Trinity Bays meet. And that’s a medium size berg. A real iceberg. Not a bergy bit (size of a car or so) or a growler (size of a house or thereabouts), but an honest-to-goodness iceberg. If I had to hazard a guess I would put it at 150+ ft long and 40+ ft high. There were dozens around this spring, and it’s shaping up to be a bumper year for ice beasts. The season generally wraps up by mid to late July, so hurry East!

What’s that? What else is in the picture? Well my daughter, obviously. And a fence. And some cliffs where that singer filmed a music video one winter. (Because she has a thing for hypothermia, I imagine).

Yeah, I’m also totally pointing to my belly. Where, at the time, there were cells a-dividing and a blastocyst a-forming.

I made Travis take this picture so we could send it out as a “Surprise! We’re pregnant!” announcement in another month or so. (Side note, this is exactly how I wanted to announce Sylvia two and a half years ago, but chickened out and went with the old standby “We’re having a baby!” instead).

So the month is up! But there’s no more cells a-dividing or an embryo a-growing.

I miscarried a few days after this pic was taken. Oof. Who knew it could happen to me? SURE AS HELL NOT ME, THAT’S WHO.

So when you ask when Sylvia’s getting a baby brother or sister, forgive me for being non-committal, flip, or downright vicious in my reply. I hear this grief train is a bit of a bitch. Just going to have to ride it for awhile longer.

And until then, my only answer to the question when is Sylvia getting a baby bother or sister is this:

Someday.

Maybe.

Now bugger off and stop asking me. And stop asking every other parent of a single child for that matter. Maybe go check out some icebergs instead. Or tell me all about that time YOU had a miscarriage too, because actually, I’d love to hear about that. Really.

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9 responses to “On ice

  1. I am very sorry for your loss. Grief takes time. And other people are idiots; ignore all of them.

  2. Oh so sorry to hear about that!! And yes, I am SURE you are tired of all the questions….. Good news? Sylvia is SUCH A cutie and looks so happy!

  3. Laura, So sorry to hear this. Take care.

  4. Oh Laura, hugs to you and Travis and Sylvia. That grief thing really is a terrible bitch. I remember someone asking me when I would provide my oldest with a sibling. He was 2 at the time and people thought it was “about time”. Except the idiot who asked had no idea I’d lost that desperately wanted baby 3 days before. I reacted poorly to say the least.

    There is probably nothing any of us can say to you right now that will make you feel much better, time is your best friend in such a sad time. But if you ever do need to talk to someone I’d be happy to listen. Take care.

    p.s. I totally want to go see an iceberg now!

    • Thanks Laurie – that’s exactly what I wanted to hear. (And I know you eventually got two more babes out of it so there’s hope for me yet, right?)
      It’s completely changed my perspective to say the least: I will never ask anyone about future pregnancies again!

      Icebergs are awesome. Let me know when you plan a trip to NL and I will tell you all about them.

  5. So so sorry Laura, my deepest sympathy to you and family. I had two miscarriages and all these years later when the due dates roll around I think of those lost little dreams.
    XO
    WWW

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